Turbulent Love

Personal

I was surrounded by people,

but alone.

Sitting on a plane back “home.”

A place I thought would give me the greatest happiness,

alas,

what can I be given

when I have done nothing with my life?

Between my states of

consciousness

and

unconsciousness

through the shifting currents of the plane,

the natural turbulence of the skies,

I began to fear this inevitability of death.

And why has it not happened already?!

Every day I choose to live,

and

it is the most painful

yet somewhat rewarding experience to exist.

What is the purpose of existing

when I barely feel alive or am truly “living.”

Pits in my heart so deep,

unexplored,

and hiding secrets untold

yet essential to my personal identity.

Am I really alone?

Or simply, hiding?

Is this turbulence just my trembling heart

shaking so violently

I cannot hear anything but the vibrations of my anxiety?

What do you do when all you want to do is love but cannot love yourself? Unravel

Vivre Sa Vie (1962) - dir. Jean-Luc Godard

Enlighten Me

Uncategorized

Hello, my name is B.

I’m currently a third year university student in Southern California. Born and raised in Taipei, Taiwan, I moved to this palm tree paradise to pursue a career in film.

Over the past two years my awkwardness and lack of social zealousness has gotten the best of me, although I can be extremely energetic and (I think) can become quite an endearing, quirky person–that streak never lasts long.

All my negativity and past mistakes aside, I have created this blog, this extra space on the Internet, to push myself to continue to face and create challenges to move forwards.

ESSENTIALLY: TO EXPRESS AND EMBRACE MY WEIRD!

From a young age, I immersed myself into books, art and film to escape depression, anxiety, and my own personal family/personal relationships; yet over this time period I never truly absorbed or remembered any of it.

And I want to remember. I want to instill those nuggets of knowledge, life experiences, into my being.

So… Feel free to join me along this journey of experimentation and living it up.

‘Till the next post my friend.