In two months, it will have been a year since I wrote a legitimate blog post here. Not that this is some sacred place showcasing my writing, rather, the more important issue is my fear and inconsistency with sticking to the goal of the blog I originally set out for myself. Unfortunately, as efficient and hard working I am, it tends to be geared towards to short-term objectives.
Thus, I want to set a precedent to publish a post at the very minimum: once a month.
After having that written in, I suppose I shall explore what has been holding me back. I believe that at my natural state I tend to be quiet, only interact with people who I am comfortable with, and thrive in having positive responses from others. However, these are all assumptions and expectations that I will be comfortable and accepted by everyone. At the back of my mind, I know this isn’t right. I need to make a conscious effort not to immediately become apathetic if the situation becomes uncomfortable or unchartered territory—I need to learn to communicate better and try, try, and try again. I’m clearly slow to the game. As I said in my first post, I need to embrace my weirdness and be myself.
And, isn’t that the strangest piece of advice everyone gets?
Our identities are constantly evolving and changing, so it’s hard to lock down a defined identity to stick by. Rather it is about staying authentic and true to that “gut feeling.” Innately we all have a somewhat spiritual or intangible emotional response, an understanding with each decision we make or don’t make: a so-called “gut feeling.”
It’s like that feeling when you have a crush on someone. There are parts of this feeling that make sense, but most of it really doesn’t. And that’s also general life shit. We all go through a system of education whether that be physical institutions or other learning and growth mediums, the “major” or direction we work towards may not always be the one we end up fulfilling. That being said, some people have very clear visions of who they are and what they want to be.
In my case, I am very much lost and still figuring it all out. So, I want to utilize this blog to learn more about myself, what makes me happy and be more in tune with being alive. My short-term tendencies and fearful thinking need to be minimized.
Everyone has their own timelines and it sucks that I had to feel this motivated just before I’m thrown off the cliff of adulthood (senior year is approaching).
So, below are my blogging goals where I will be held responsible for producing them in the month (good and bad):
- Personal stories
- Film/TV/Book reviews
- Opinion pieces
That’s it! Now, time to get this sorted…